If you have stumbled upon this blog and taken an interest in it, chances are you are an ambitious person in search of ways to optimize your existence on the planet.
I am too. That’s why I started this blog. I also know the feeling well because I optimize my life… a lot, and at times, I over optimize.
Many personal development content creators neglect to discuss with their audiences the cost of over-optimization. The reason for this is simple.
If they advance the idea that you don’t need to optimize more, you might pay attention to them less and go out and live life more.
- Social media companies are reluctant to suggest that you moderate your use of their platforms.
- Politicians are reluctant to suggest that you moderate your interest in listening to them.
- NBA players are reluctant to say that you should not attend games.
- Colleges are reluctant to say that attending is not worth the cost.
The list of examples could go on and on.
The Cost of Over Optimization
Personal development content creators tend to advocate for optimization, but it is usually on their terms and not yours. This does not mean we should all ignore all of these content creators; it just means that you should consider the cost of taking their ideas seriously. Sometimes, they don’t even practice what they preach.
When it comes to optimization through personal development, there is a point of diminishing returns. There is also a point where the returns become negative and instead of making life better, things get worse.
When Self-Help Becomes Self Defeating
Personal development content gets mixed reviews but often, it gets a well-earned bad reputation. Some of the dynamics that make the industry so profitable and ubiquitous are downright predatory. In its worst forms, the most seductive advice can disconnect people from themselves and make problems worse.
Bad self-help gurus prey upon the insecurities of their audience. Take this example from the pick up artist community. Even if you have noble intentions, efforts to overcompensate for something you feel you lack can lead you astray. And even if you pat yourself on the back for avoiding the latest craze, you, yes …you are vulnerable too.
This problem with the self-help industry has been exacerbated by the rapid rate at which information, opinions, and entertainment have become available in virtually any medium anyone could possibly want at any time. Humans have not adjusted to the constant temptations of distraction.
If you believe you might be optimizing your life to the point of over optimization, it is time to pause and reflect.
The path we choose is not always the one that should win in the end.
Technology – For Better or Worse?
Unless you are a person of faith who somehow manages to always choose God, it can be hard to know what type of advice to take seriously. Choosing wisely is essential. Even the best leaders need to follow others first, and who they follow makes the difference in the quality of their ability to lead.
The demands of modern existence, along with its ever-present temptations create unique and unprecedented challenges for human beings.
There are two seductive partners that you must dance with: distraction and optimization. These are strange bedfellows. Each offers competing priorities. Most would argue that optimization is the better choice – at least on the surface.
But even if you choose optimization over distraction, it can be easy to forget what it means to just live. Perhaps this is why even as of 2012, there were 23,000 books in circulation with “happiness” in the title.
Countless books are being written right now on the topic of happiness and this trend will undoubtedly continue for one reason: happiness doesn’t come from a book. We can only create the life we want through action and reading is always a passive activity.
A consensus is growing as it becomes increasingly clear that technology, particularly social media, is harming humans as they pursue happiness.
The gloomiest pessimists believe technology will consume us.
The optimists believe technology will enhance our lives.
The phone is a constant companion for most modern humans. It is a reliable source of distraction with infinite possibilities. It has taken the role of comforter, of our best friend, but its interests are not our own.
Modern technology comes equipped with fantastic benefits, but it comes with a dark side that must be addressed as well. A collective solution is not forthcoming, so you must find an individual solution.
Dancing with distraction and optimization has become a requirement of modern existence. If we do not learn how, we stand to lose our quality of life. Many of us already have.
Finding the Sweet Spot
You can’t listen to every interesting podcast. You can’t watch every YouTube video. You can’t read every book you want. Even if you’re disciplined enough to choose books over the aforementioned two options, it is still easy to get too caught up in pursuits that don’t bring positive results.
The quality of the personal development advice that you consume matters a great deal. So does the quality of the technology and how you use it.
Here are a few ways to find the sweet spot between distraction and optimization.
- Observe Your Inner State
Always monitor yourself. This includes the way you’re feeling in every moment. Analyze the situation and determine what might be causing the feelings that are less desirable. Once you think you have the cause, test your hypothesis by attempting to address it. Observe again to determine whether the needle has moved to your satisfaction.
When you consume content that distracts, consider how it’s impacting your mood. How much is too much? The answer might be simple. It might be that you need some quick entertainment to put yourself into the right state of mind. Humor is the spice of life so a funny video might be time well spent.
Other times, we indulge too much because we are sleep deprived. Or maybe our diet the night before was foolish. Learn to recognize your internal state. Always observe yourself and invent personal standards that work for you.
Listen to yourself, not some self-help author or content creator who you don’t even know.
- Eliminate When Necessary
More often than not, when you add an obligation to your life, you need to eliminate or reduce your engagement with something else that is adding less value.
If we do not do this, the cost of over optimization will be high. We can only handle so much. Ron Swanson, from the hit television series Parks & Recreation, of all people said this best, “don’t half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”
Many people overestimate their capacity to engage in an abundance of activities that they identify as important. They willingly and enthusiastically take on new commitments. But sometimes this additional weight to our day-to-day lives is based only on a fleeting interest in the subject. Other times, we just do not have as much time as we thought.
- Prioritize Living
I read a lot, mostly in the audiobook format. I also listen to many podcasts, although I’ve eliminated many lately that were not serving me. When I’m sitting with my toddler, I will sometimes listen to something in the background but I understand that it’s far more important to pay attention to him.
Anyone who has a child knows how fast they grow up. Podcasts, video content, and audiobooks will always be there for me. My son, wife, family, and friends may not be if they are neglected.
Being on your phone all day may optimize your goal of how many articles you planned to read, but it undermines other key aspects of life.
The Show Must Go On
Modern humans need to know when to put the phone or book down in favor of living.
Ready or not, the dance will continue, so it is important to find your sweet spot between distraction and optimization.
Like a sound investment that promises future returns, the decision on how we spend our time functions similarly. Time well spent yields future results but we need to enjoy life too. Addictive technology and the temptation to overcompensate with too much personal improvement have something interesting in common.
Both feel great in the short term, but they may not be the best option in the long run. One is obvious, but the other is more subtle. It takes a deeper understanding to recognize that the advice we follow is flawed or that our inner state is compromised because we chose the wrong podcast in the morning.
Being aware of our inner state, focusing on only matters of importance, and enjoying life are the height of optimization, and the best part is that no one gets hurt or left behind if this is how you optimize.
It’s okay to impose priorities, goals, and some structure on yourself but it can never come at the expense of what makes life the most fulfilling.
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